Other fun indications you’re about to be an asshole.
“I don’t want to hurt your feelings but..”
“I don’t want to sound like an asshole but..”
and my personal favorite
“Don’t take this the wrong way..”
If what you’re saying is so shitty that you feel the need to absolve yourself by opening with a disclaimer.
Maybe you shouldn’t say it.
I actually don’t agree with this s: Just because it hurts to hear something doesn’t mean that sometimes it isn’t called for. Like “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you drink a lot. I mean, a lot.” or “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you should leave him if he keeps hurting you, for your own sake.” Sometimes, shitty things need to be said.
Also sometimes, jerks don’t think they’re jerks. And sometimes they need to be called out on their bullshit to realize, Oh Shit, Maybe I’m Wrong. Like “I don’t mean to be racist, but (blah)” “Whoa, dude, no. That’s totally racist. Let me explain something to you..”
I’m just saying, this sounds an awful lot like “don’t make your problems my problems.” Everything is situational, and there’s no easy blanket fixes for helping people become better people. The solution isn’t “shut up”